Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
Reintegration and Reflection
We stepped into the Trader Joe’s after more than 30 days, post-Costa Rica adventure, and breathed a sigh of heavenly excitement and anticipation. So many choices!
Oh how we had missed the California conveniences of widespread access to nearly anything you can imagine! This moment of choice and plenty, lying in sharp contrast to the picture of the tiny mini markets sprinkled around most of the small towns in Costa Rica. Markets full of odds and ends, and packaged, processed foods juxtaposed against the abundance of the most AMAZING fresh fruits you could imagine.
In Costa Rica, the best way to source your food is through your community: the local organic ferias, the carniceria, panaderia, the neighbors across the street or down the road with the cows, bananas, coconut oil, or mangos. And being closer to our food sources and our community really teaches us how important our connection is, and to foster a deep appreciation for our resources. I think sometimes we forget this when we have everything at our fingertips. It’s a different way of life…
We did not, however, miss the lines to enter the grocery store, and the vibe of Covid-Fear of getting near others that still pervades our town. It’s subtler than before, but it’s still there. You know what I mean, right? The social distance dance, where if someone enters your bubble by accident (or on purpose), you dance backwards, circularly avoiding breaking the bubble, body tensed, worried. Or perhaps, you hear someone cough or sneeze and your entire body tenses up with the fear that it could be Covid, and you slowly (or quickly) float away, out of the vicinity….
Don’t get me wrong, I have respect for the precautions in place to protect against Covid outbreaks. It’s more the fear and politics of the virus present here in the US that we managed to shed and release during our journey abroad. And I am grateful for it.
Secret Gifts
Anyhow, I totally digress! We entered the Trader Joe’s, super delighted, and excited to re-stock our kitchen and eat some of the things we had missed while away: strawberries, bratwursts, hummus, prosciutto, goat cheese, Ayla’s Blueberry Bars…..you get the idea.
While I slowly eyed the produce case near the entrance, my daughter lingered near the cards, as she likes to do when we come in. This time, however, I could tell she was up to something, but I pretended not to notice.
I had an idea though. Mother’s Day was just around the corner, and she knew it. As I studiously examined the strawberries (a hot commodity in Costa Rica at nearly $10 a basket), through my peripheral mommy-vision, I observed Ayla scampering across the store towards the customer service station.
Moments later, eyes sparkling with mystery, she approached me.
“Mommy, do you have 99 cents?”
“Sure, honey. Do you need a little extra for tax? “
“No, just 99 cents please, I’ll pay you back.”
I rummaged around my wallet, feeling for 4 quarters mixed in with our leftover Costa Rican Colones, and found 99 cents in change. Then I handed her an extra dime. “Just in case.” I said.
“Thanks Mom!” She giggled, eyes sparkling, and thoroughly pleased with herself. I smiled. She’s growing up SO much.
Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
Moments later, she came back, delighted with her big girl purchase. “Mom, I have change!” Opening her palm, I saw two pennies glimmering in her hand. I smiled again.
“That’s awesome! Keep it, okay?”
“Okay!” then, “Mom, Don’t look! I have something for you and it’s a surprise!”
“Okay” I smiled, and looked away to give her time to hide her secret gift.
“Mom, I bought something all by myself!! And I got you a present. I won’t tell you what it is. It might be chocolate, or a card, or something else, but it’s a surprise!!”
My mommy heart was bursting. What a beautiful, sweet gesture! Being a solo mama, and especially with pandemic isolation still in play, she doesn’t have too many opportunities to shop for me independently on Mother’s Day, birthdays, or Christmas. Of course, I love when she makes me things, and though I don’t really require gifts, she is approaching an age where she is becoming aware of those gestures and wanting to buy and give gifts….
She was so excited that she literally told everyone we passed in the store that she made a purchase all by herself and that she got me a Mother’s Day surprise. So precious! Also, it was kind of a scene…
Rosé, Lavender, and Flowers, Oh My!
Then, we passed the sample station, where pre-Covid we once sampled delicious creations, mostly made by our friend Val. Now a display for seasonal or highlighted items, currently Mother’s Day gift suggestions, Ayla’s eyes popped.
“Mom! I’d like to get you this bottle of Rosé!”
It’s true, I once drank Rosé regularly (for the first three months of the pandemic Candy Rosé was my drink of choice). Not so much anymore, as I’ve changed a lot of my habits in the past year, but she remembered that I like it, sweet girl, and what could I say?
Then, looking around at the whole display, she says, “Mom, can I get you something from here, please?”
Smiling, and laughing internally because, let’s face it, I’m paying for anything she buys me, I play along. And I can’t resist.
“Sweetheart, why don’t you pick something you think I would enjoy?”
“Can you pick? I want you to have what you really want!”
“I don’t really need anything love.”
“Please? I want to get you something.”
I yielded, and picked the bottle of Rosé because it was her first choice, and a lavender bath salt scrub. Though I didn’t really need to spend extra after our extended trip, I knew it was really important to Ayla, and I thoroughly appreciated the sweetness of her gesture.
Now, literally standing beside herself, she continued to beam and dance throughout the rest of our shopping trip, chirping happily to anyone and everyone who would listen how she was getting gifts for her Mama for Mother’s Day. I think she even showed a few people my “secret gift.”
And as we were preparing to wrap up our shopping trip, she gasps, “Mama, can I please get you some flowers???”
Sighing a little at how much I was spending, but still smiling, I yielded again, because, how could I say no??
Best Mother’s Day Ever
As we left Trader Joe’s, bank account a little lighter than expected, my heart was so full of amusement, love and gratitude.
And guess what? On Mother’s Day, the very first thing my sweet daughter did when she woke up was hand me the beautiful card that she picked out at Trader Joe’s, a card that she had spent an hour beautifully decorating and writing in as soon as we got home that day. We had a wonderful day going out to breakfast, seeing friends, and enjoying the beautiful sunshine and each other’s company.
Our adventure to Costa Rica was an incredible journey of discovery, healing, and Pura Vida. Our time spent there has helped me to release old grief and patterns, and to see and appreciate all that lies before me, including the beautiful gift it is to be a Mother.
Best Mother’s Day ever.
I am happy, I am good,
I am happy, I am good.
Satanam, satanam, satanam ji,
Waheguru, waheguru, waheguru ji
children’s meditation chant
taught to me by
my mermaid sister and kundalini yoga teacher
Meg Sylvester
What brings you joy on Mother’s Day and how do you celebrate with your kiddos? I’d love to hear about what lights you up!
Happy Belated Mother’s Day!
Z
PS: stay tuned for upcoming posts about our Costa Rica adventures!
