Pacing Yourself When You Have a lot on Your Plate

Lately, I’ve had a zillion projects all in the air at once. Despite being home with my daughter during the pandemic and on leave, I found that there is always plenty to do. You all know what I mean.

We’ve got all the regular household things like cleaning, laundry, groceries, and meals.

Then there’s managing the kids’ distance learning schedules and being available when they need help.

And don’t forget paying attention to said children. (if you’re home alone with an only child who likes attention, you really know what I mean here, folks).

And all the projects I haven’t had time to do for the past seven years like going through old boxes, photos, and managing digital media…

Then there’s the multiple business projects I’m working on.

And, oh yeah! Self care and sleep (what’s that?!).

Um…HOW did I do all of this stuff while I was working a full time job???

So anyway, you get the point. I’m wearing a lot of hats and pacing is a challenge.

But I figure, if I’m doing the pacing dance over here, that other awesome, high achieving, motivated mamas are probably doing the same, right?

So here are some tips to not lose your sh** trying to juggle it all.

1. Be kind to yourself

One of the most powerful tools you can use to successfully manage ALL THE THINGS is to practice being kind to yourself, and this begins with monitoring the tone of your self talk.

Your self talk will determine your mindset. That’s quite a powerful statement, I know, but the way we talk to ourselves-our inner dialogue, can have a tremendous impact on our emotional state and what we believe we are capable of creating.

It can be all too easy to be tough on yourself when you are taking on something new or juggling a ton of stuff. Sometimes you might feel like you aren’t doing anything well because you are spread too thin, and this can lead to negative self talk and feelings of overwhelm. I know this feeling well, friends!

Instead, work on becoming mindful of your self talk and practice speaking with kindness to yourself. This is an important step in transforming your mindset. When you catch yourself running negative self talk, think about how you would encourage your child, partner, or best friend and use that language with yourself.

For example, instead of saying something like:

“Oh my goodness, it’s 1pm and I haven’t made lunch for my kid yet. I’m such a horrible mom!”

You can rephrase and say:

“Wow, today has been a busy day and lunch is running late. I’m feeling a bit overextended right now, but I know that I’m a good mom and my kids are going to be okay.”

Give yourself the grace to have an off day, a slow day, make mistakes, or feel overwhelmed. It’s okay! Remember that you are in process, growing and learning and it doesn’t have to be perfect.

Remember that you are strong, capable and courageous! You’ve got this!

2. You really don’t have to do it all now

I know, it would be great if you could finish all the things, and if you are anything like me, you really want to, but it’s okay to have unfinished projects.

• The trick is to pick the main projects that you want (or need) to work on and set some short and long term goals to help frame your progress. Take some time to think about the things that need immediate attention, daily attention, and the things that can be a work in progress. Then map out what you’d like to accomplish over say, the next month.
• Then, I’d suggest mapping out a general plan each day of what you’d like to accomplish. This can look like a list of the main tasks or projects you’d like to accomplish for the day. Choose a manageable goal for each project you’d like to spend time on that day. And this is important: when you create your plan for the day, include breaks for eating, self care, and rest.
• And then, give yourself the grace to adjust as you go. If you keep a positive frame of mind, you have a better chance of getting into a good flow.

3. Set small, manageable, short term goals

When you can’t knock it all out at once, pick smaller goals. Setting smaller goals for each project you have in play will help you to feel more productive, see your successes (so you can celebrate them!!!), reduce overwhelm, and help you plan your days more mindfully.

For example, if you’re working on organizing or clearing stuff, you can chunk it up in the following ways:

• set a goal to work on, sort or clear a specific thing (one box, one drawer, clear off the kitchen table, etc..). OR
• give yourself a timed goal (I’m going to sort this pile, or work on… for 30 min today).

These are also great strategies if you’re feeling overwhelmed and you’re having a hard time getting started.

4. Celebrate your successes

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t reach your goals, instead, find something positive and praise yourself, out loud if you can, for all the things that you did accomplish. Do this often!

Did you finish going through that old box of photos? Good job!

Look at all the empty boxes that were once filled with stuff? Winning!

Remember, cultivating positive self talk and self kindness is SO important to your well being and success.

The more you do this, the easier it will get, and it will make you feel good! This is SO important, because it will improve your mindset and build positive momentum towards accomplishing your goals!

6. Give Yourself Breaks

This is one of the hardest things for me to do.

• Taking small breaks to do something nourishing for yourself can help prevent overwhelm and overload. Something as simple as taking 5 minutes to meditate, focus on your breathing, go outside, eat a nourishing meal or drink water.
• If you’re spinning your wheels, step away. Sometimes, if you’re hitting a lot of resistance in a task you are taking on, it can be a sign that you are not ready, it’s not the right time, or you simply need to step away and do something different. It’s okay to do this! And honestly, that resistance isn’t helping you be more productive, it’s probably slowing you down and ruining your mood, to boot. So take your cues from the universe and step away. Come back to it when you’re in a better mindset to take it on.

7. Make time for self care

This is important for everyone, but especially for our solo parents out there, this is an area that often gets overlooked in the interest of juggling ALL THE THINGS. Taking the time to take care for yourself might be the most important thing you do for your overall well being on your life journey. It’s a lot easier to tackle ALL THE THINGS with a full cup (or a least one that’s not dry as a bone). You will be better at life and have more to give if you take good care of yourself. If you’re still not convinced, think of it as an investment in the success of your projects. Invest in yourself!! You deserve it.

Here are some simple ways to practice good self care

• Create small rituals and routines to anchor you-Rituals don’t have to be something big and elaborate. They can be small, simple practices that help you ground yourself for the day or anchor you back to your center when you feel overwhelmed. It can be as simple as having a cup of coffee or tea, taking a shower, or as elaborate as having a nice long bath.
• Stay hydrated and eat nourishing meals-fueling your body with healthful foods and hydrating is so key to feeling well and meeting life’s moments with grace.
• Create a meditation or mindfulness practice-this can be as simple as finding a quiet place to be present with your breath or your surroundings for 5 minutes.
• Exercise-try to make some time to at least go for a walk or do a short yoga routine.
• Make time for play-it’s important that we take time to step away from our work and just be present and play. You can do this alone, or with your partner, friends or family. Taking this time opens you up to let go of all of the things swirling around you and be in the receiving mode.

8. Maintain a Good Sense of Humor

Life is crazy. Take it all in stride when you can and try to enjoy the ride. It will be more fun.

So what were those tips again? Here’s a quick recap:

• Be kind to yourself
• Know that you don’t have to get it all done right now
• Set small, manageable short-term goals
• Celebrate your successes and do it often
• Give yourself breaks
• Make time for self care
• Have a good sense of humor

Live well friends,

Z