What a long, strange trip it’s been….

Welcome to Soula Mama! My name is Zina. I’d like to tell you a bit more about myself and why I am creating this space.

How did I become a Soula Mama?

Seven and a half years ago, I gave birth to the beautiful, bright and shiny being known as Ayla Raven, and she has forever changed my world.

Never did I ever imagine my life would be the way that I am living it today….

It was never my intention to become a solo parent, but through a series of extremely challenging and heartbreaking events, I began raising my daughter on my own when she was very young. Seven years and many adventures later, I am still a solo mama, meaning, it’s all me baby!

Suffice it to say that in a very short time I went from the most beautiful experience I could imagine-that of becoming a mother, to living in a nightmare. And out of tremendous love for my daughter and the sheer will to survive, I was gradually able to rise out of the ashes of trauma and create a beautiful life for my daughter and I.

Those early experiences of my mothering journey brought me to the edge and taught me what I am made of. It really brought into focus how precious a gift it is to be a mother and to be entrusted with the safety, growth and development of another being.

The details of that story are not what this blog is about. But they are a big part of why I’m here, and why I’m a Soula Mama.

Why Soula Mama?

Soula Mama means soul mother. It’s my vision of what it means to be a mother, and what I choose to see myself as. Not because I am a perfect, soul-centered being (I am definitely not), but because becoming a mother and raising Ayla has taught me to dive deep into the depths of my soul and grow. It’s why I chose the name.

Raising a child is a soulful act of love.

Solo parenting is challenging and beautiful.

I choose to not be defined simply by the circumstances of my solo parenting journey, but rather by the soulful purpose with which I choose to walk my path as a mother and a woman.

I am a Soula Mama and I am becoming.

My journey, like all of ours, is unfolding and unfinished. I am still working on moving from surviving to thriving.

Through the process of learning how to raise Ayla on my own, and being stretched to my limits over and over again in many ways, I am continually discovering an ever-deepening sense of resilience.

Raising Ayla has been the greatest gift of my life. She continually shows me what I am made of, where I need to grow, and teaches me everyday to be a better human being.

It’s also been and continues to be a beautiful, magical, hilarious adventure.

And most importantly, my daughter and I are constantly co-creating a beautiful soulaful life full of ALL the things!

Why did I start this journey?

In the midst of a global pandemic, when many of us are struggling, I’ve been given a great gift.

I’ve worked my whole life. Had a job since I was 14 and worked hard in college. Even though I have always wanted to pursue a career in singing and creative and performing arts, I went straight into a teaching job, and I’ve been teaching for 20 years.

Although I have found joy and fulfillment in my teaching career, I initially entered the field out of the practical need to pay the bills and have a stable income. I’ve always been about responsibility even before my daughter was born. I am now even more because my girl is depending on me. I’m the one (cue me in a Matrix trenchcoat, haha).

Cue the global pandemic, and zoom in on being a solo parent and a music teacher. There’s a whole lot to talk about right there! Long story short, I’ve taken a one year leave of absence to care for my daughter and myself during this crazy time.

Although I have felt tremendous guilt in stepping away, I desperately needed to do it.

Opening the Doors to Something New

I now finally have an opportunity to take some time to not only drop in and take care of my little girl, but a much needed opportunity to do some inner work, to create new opportunities for our future, and to care for myself in a way that I haven’t been able to do since the birth of my daughter.

It’s still not easy, but I am incredibly grateful.

During this period of grace, it has become more and more clear to me that it is finally time for me step out into uncharted waters, to dive in, trust, and to nurture the creations that want to be born from within me.

I’ve always wanted to create and express through song and written word. It’s taken me some time and quite a lot of living to believe that I have something worth sharing. Through living my own story, I’ve realized that I do have something of value to say. This blog and what is born from it will be the expression of my voice.

But beginning takes incredible courage. And so I begin.

I hope that sharing my moments, growth and knowledge with all of you gives you something of value.

Thank you for joining me.

Z

PS: You don’t have to be a solo mama, a single mama, or even a mama to read this blog. The human experience is universal, and we all have Soula within no matter the specifics of our journey. I am simply speaking my story, through my own lens, and sharing what I have experienced and learned with the hope that it will resonate with you in some way. I invite you to dive in with me.